Friends and friends of friends!
What a glorious day it has been. The rapture index has once again increased by 1. It now stands at 158. What fantastic news for all holders of BetOnJesus certificates. The main reason for the increase is floods and nuclear nations. Earthquakes brought it down one point though, but overall we're talking about getting an inch closer to Jesus coming back! Hurray, get ready. Despite this 0.6% increase in the odds of our Lord Jesus Christ coming back, we have decided not to change our odds, we just keep on giving money away to you. The Lord will provide to our needs according to His riches in glory in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19).
I have received an email from a fellow Christian about providing side-bets for the Lord's return. Will He be black or American? We're currently prayerfully investigating the odds of this and other bets. Once the Lord has spoken to us, we'll let you know. Praise the sweet name of Jesus.
Make sure that your friends know about the Lord and this website (also, please, in this order). I challenge you to send out the good news of BetOnJesus to at least 3 friends (if you have any). Send us an email (look at the Testimonies page) if you've introduced more than 10 friends. You'll get a VGP (Very Godly Person) invite to the big BetOnJesus end time party. Invites to the party will be send out 4 weeks before the Lords return.