Saints,
rejoice! Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ today revealed the plan for His economic stimulus package. In a press release on 02/20/2009 through BetOnJesus the Holy Trinity declared:
"God, the Holy Ghost and Jesus have decided that it's time to step up in these difficult economic times. All three of Us will chip in and pay every person on this planet $1000 when Jesus comes back soon. Please sign up by linking yourself with Jesus through LinkedIn. Do the math yourself and see who has the biggest package now! 6 Billion people can link up -- times $1000 each makes 6 Trillion! In your face Obama, We're bigger than you.
Sincerely, God, the Holy Ghost and Jesus."
As always, BetOnJesus will act as the responsible steward that we are God willing. Folks, don't delay any longer to get connected on a higher level. Link up with our Lord and Saviour. Amen.
Saints,
the Lord today revealed to me the day of His return: "I will come after BetOnJesus has more than one Million bets made on My return. Glory." Folks, I'm busy buying bets on the Lord, but I can't do it myself. Would you give me a helping hand?
Pastor Boj
My friends,
our Lord Jesus Christ wants to be totally LinkedIn with all of you. Frankly, He is quite surprised that not more of you have linked up with him already. To many of you He pleaded, but few have listened. To sweeten the deal, He instructed me to issue a BetOnJesus Certificate to each new LinkedIn person. WHAT A DEAL!!! So what are you waiting for? Make Jesus Christ the most LinkedIn person in history. Click on the supercool LinkedIn button on the right and get ready to receive the Lord's grace and certificate.
Praise,
Pastor Boj
Saints -
I just got off the floor praying when the Lord spoke to me in a powerful voice that threw me right back onto the ground. "I want you to pay off the national debt in the USA". "Whoowww" I said, "Slowly Lord, does this include the $700 Billion we just gave to the banks, or is it just the normal $10 Trillion?". The Lord continued: "All of it, I command you to pay off the complete national debt when I come back. I will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). What a powerful message! Rejoice and don't even think about paying off that credit card yourself any longer! BetOnJesus with our Lord will take care of that as well when He comes back. Because if you have any personal debt, why don't you prayerfully bet and tithe with BetOnJesus and bet on our Lord's return. Our Lord is getting better every day. What an end to the world!
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Boj
My friends,
our Lord is working a miracle right in front of our eyes. Sarah Palin and BetOnJesus have teamed up to finally lead America to Christ. In the next 13 days we will lead every second 100 atheists, socialists, communists, liberals, homosexuals and other unsaved trash to Christ. That means more than 100 Million new voters for God's party on election day! Our victory is as certain as the second coming of our Lord and Saviour. You might ask yourself: What can I do? Just bet on Jesus and we (Sarah, BetOnJesus, and Jesus) will do the rest for you. Stand prayerfully and financially with the biggest movement God's kingdom has ever seen. It has never been easier to save an unsaved friend and a whole nation. Show you faith and bet on the Lord, my friend. Victory is near!
Glory to God,
Pastor Boj
Fellow Pastors and Friends -
these are serious times that need a godly person to be the next president of the United States of America. Sarah Palin has proven over and over again that she can hang with the best of them: speaking with tongues, holy laughter, rolling on the floor, praying, you name it, she's done it -- and you can be sure that she will use this arsenal of spiritual weapons when it comes to hitting the enemy where it hurts and when it counts. Glory to God! Just imagine what will happen when She starts speaking in tongues with terrorists or Her Russian neighbors. The Lord already told us here at BetOnJesus who will win the election, get ready for the ride!
Friends, we need your help. Barrister Cooper has left the church and took nearly $100,000 with him. Would you pray for us here at BetOnJesus and ask the Lord whether He will reward you richly for betting on Him. Thank you.
I got many emails in the last couple of months asking me whether BetOnJesus would also hedge other risks, such as rising gas and food prices. We asked the Lord for guidance and He told us: "Throw in 1000 gallons of gasoline for the unsaved, they certainly would try to speed away with their tiny gas-saving Japanese cars when I'll return, hahahaha." Saints, we all know that there's no escaping the end times, so we all might as well drive around with the biggest trucks. Keep on trucking for the Lord.
Saints,
help is on the way. I got an email from Barrister Cooper in which he promised to donate to this ministry $5.5 Million from the will of Mrs. Jennifer Wilson. He sounds like a man of God and we could really use the money to spread the gospel to every corner of the globe. I'm still waiting to hear from him again, so if any of you feel like giving him a call at any time during the day (or night), feel free to do so. Here is his letter and telephone number:
Calvary greetings,
I hereby acknowledge receipt of the email forwarded to me by my esteem client .Mrs. Jennifer Wilson my names are Barrister Jerry Cooper lawyer to Mrs.Jennifer Wilson. I got your mail regarding the above subject.
Mrs.Jennifer Wilson notified me about her decision to WILL $5,5Million US Dollars and that she has given you instruction on disbursement. The funds are presently in her bank here in the Netherlands.
For the purpose of this transaction I will be the one to provide you with logistics on the receivership of the funds. I have read the message and contents contained therein is understood by me. In pursuant of your message, I have every conviction that you are determined to live for humanity and posterity. My client cannot claim these funds herself as a result of,
1. My client is still very sick after the operation and is still in intensive care. She is under-going medical treatment. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now she is in coma. All my client needs from you is prayers for quick recovering.
2. She wants God to be merciful to her and accept her soul that explains why she has decided to give alms to charity organizations as she want this to be one of the last good deeds she do on earth. I wish to plead with you to join my client for not only serving humanity, but to also benefit in the process. This process could be strange but reality will definitely dawn on you.
3: The funds are in SNS-BANK The Netherlands. I am in possession of all legal willed documents and just the two of us knew about it. This funds has been insured for security reasons and for safety which no body can deduct any amount from it even the bank are not authorized to deduct from this funds until transfer is made to the beneficiary.
4: I want to also inform you that out of the total sum of $5.500, 000 Five Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars willed to you by my client Mrs. Jennifer Wilson, you are entitled to 20% of the total sum for fruitful time and good will assistance, and 5% is for every expenses that will be involved in this transaction. Your telephone calls, your time and payment for anything concerning this transaction because the bank will charging you for the transfer cost of fees in which you are entitle to make this payment to the bank as the beneficiary of funds. As soon as the bank transfer the willed funds to your account you will first of all remove all that you have spent so far before taking your normal 20% that my client Mrs.Jennifer Wilson promised giving you for your assistance.
5: To ensure that we commence the paper-work and conclude the transfer of receivership within the next 3 days, you will please ensure that you adhere to my instructions quite religiously and keep this transaction confidential to yourself because of the family of my client Mrs Jennifer Wilson. We will take it a step at a time
I have to also say here that my client does not intend to cause you any personal pains or discomfort. If this agreed by us we can eventually proceed to discuss the process of the transfer of receivership to you to enable you adequate carry out the job that you are called to do. I will make sure this transaction come to pass so that these funds can be transferred to you soonest.
She has WILLED the funds to you based on her own decision. I will immediately proceed in notifying Mrs. Jennifer Wilson bank in order for the funds to be released and transferred to you. Do endeavour to confirm the receipt of this mail, and I will like us to establish voice contact by calling me with my number below so that I explain to you more details about this transaction.
I will require the following information below from you to process the release of the funds and notification to the bank.
1. Full name
2. Country of Residence
3. Sex
4. Age
5. Occupation
6. Telephone number
7. Fax number
Note: This are the process of this transaction I expect to hear from you soon so that I can facilitate and conclude this transaction on your behalf. May God grant you the strength and divine knowledge to carry out this assignment?
Sincerely,
Jerry Cooper (Barr. in Law).
**SOLICITOR AND LEGAL PRACTITIONER**
Email: barristercooper@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +31-644-777-769
Folks, you've read here first: the world is coming to the end! Would you check out the new movie I've posted on 'Dear Atheists'? Our ministry partner Benny Hinn is giving us some clear pointers with his message 'Time is running out'! I don't know why God has placed this prophetic burden onto my heart, but I need to tell His church: PREPARE! The rapture index has again risen to 164. Believing that the end times will come within 10 years is now the rational thing to do -- go and bet on Jesus or at least shop for Jesus, it's the Lord's plan.
BOJ
"The rich man's wealth is his only strength. The poor man's poverty is his
only curse." Prov 10:15
Now that you've seen BetOnJesus these Bible verses suddenly make sense, don't they! This is exactly what this ministry is all about: removing the last curse of the poor people by making them rich, and bringing the gospel to the home of the wealthy. I can't tell you how many glorious testimonies are coming in. God is shaking the nations and BetOnJesus is partnering with Saints such as you to bring this sinful world to an end. Glory to God.
